If I could just get some sleep...
In my first session with a new client I want to know what you are going through, but I also want to know about the basics. How is your sleep, nutrition, and exercise? I find (and research finds) that counseling can only go so far if you get 2 hours of sleep a night, eat only fast food, and spend most of your time in front of the TV. I will address nutrition and exercise later but today I want to focus on sleep.
Sleep is extremely important to our mental health and almost two-thirds of Americans report that they are losing sleep to stress. I totally get it and sometimes I am in that same category. The funny thing is that sleep helps us to manage stress and other health issues that could be impacting our lives. According to Mental Health America, lack of sleep puts us at greater risk for depression and anxiety, increases our risk for heart disease and cancer, memory impairments, greater likelihood of accidents, immune system impairments, and weight gain. These all sound awful and on top of that getting less restful sleep makes us cranky and not fun to be around.
Here are some tips to help you get to sleep:
Clean and declutter your room: This isn’t just for teenagers who want to use the car. You also need to have a calm sanctuary. This is the perfect time to get your Marie Kondo cleaning on. Many bedrooms become a dumping ground for the things we were unable to accomplish due to all the stress and responsibilities we have in our lives. You do not need to store your bills, unfolded laundry, and all your children’s extras in your room. I encourage my clients to declutter, dust, wash your curtains and bedding, heck get new sheets you have earned it, reorganize so that this room is now your sanctuary. Get a diffuser with calming essential oils. When you walk into this room every day it should be a space for a breath of fresh air not chaos.
Your bed is for sleeping: You should only use your bedroom and bed for sleeping (and sex). You do not do bills here, plan birthday parties, eat, or do your work. The bed is for sleeping and the room is your oasis. Your bed should only be associated with sleep not managing your life. It also helps if you keep a cool, dark, environment at night.
Establish a bedtime routine: Bedtime routines are not just for babies and young children. Everyone should have one. You need to let your body unwind from the day so your brain can transition. I encourage my clients to pick a time when they are going to start getting ready for bed. If you are someone that takes longer to get settled and fall sleep, then maybe starting this process at 11pm is not a good choice. You should start this an hour before you are hoping to fall asleep. Some people go in their rooms and change into comfy pajamas, take a relaxing bath, pamper with lotion and a self-foot massage, etc. Whatever you feel would help you relax do at this time. You should also do this at the same time every night and I encourage people to try to wake up at the same time every day.
Put down the electronics: I promise you that scrolling on your phone at night is not helping you sleep. Your eyes might be getting tired, but your brain is stimulated. I assure you that you are not solving any major issues at midnight on Facebook and there isn’t anything on social media that can’t wait till morning. Unless you are solving world, hunger let's just agree to put the phone or tablet down. I encourage people to do this an hour before bed. Read a book, listen to a guided meditation, or put on some relaxing sounds. Let your brain chill.
Caffeine and sugar: If you are struggling to fall asleep and your last Mountain Dew was an hour before bed, it could be contributing to your problem. Limit caffeine and sugar in the evening as much as possible. There are many decaffeinated options available if you really need to have some bubbles in your life. Drinking water at night can also be helpful to you having a more restful sleep. Keep sugary snacks and fruits to minimum in the evenings as they might be keeping you up as well.
Exercise: I know I said I would cover this later, but exercise can improve your sleep. Listen, you don’t need to go to the gym every day, but our bodies were made to move. We were not born to be sitters. Even a walk around your block would help. Do not exercise close to your bedtime. Exercise can give you a boost of energy you don’t need when trying to get to sleep. It can be relaxing to do some simple stretching to help relieve muscle tension before bed.
If you feel that you are still having trouble getting restful sleep, I encourage you to seek out support from your primary care physician.
For more resources or questions on this topic you can reach out to the National Sleep Foundation.